Accentuating the positive
Life can be tough, yet we can create a new ‘default system’ that
lets us automatically pick out the positive things in our days.
My guess is that collecting is the most widespread hobby there is. Ninety per cent of us have collections, active or stashed away. (I made that statistic up, but it is probably low.) One thing is clear, there are no rules about what one can or cannot collect. Anything goes: playing cards, postcards, hockey cards; golf balls, glass jars, salt shakers, thimbles, pens; stuffed rabbits and china pigs; old tractors, tools, coins, stamps, lapel pins, comic books, Lionel trains, ‘ancient’ computers; and some may remember a report about a man, I believe from Saskatchewan, who collected old outhouses. Of course, not every collector is serious. Serious is when you join collectors’ clubs and travel to show-and-swap events. Most of us have modest collections – Elvis records, china figurines, spoons, regimental badges, that sort of stuff – but we’re unlikely to drive miles out of our way to add to our collection. However, in our sub-consciousness, we maintain an automatic alert system that draws our attention to opportunities to add to our collection. We are not out looking for anything, but in the confusion of events and images, we just ‘happen to see’ what would fit into our collection. You weren’t looking, but there it is. “Over there, in the corner, can’t you see it?” What’s really interesting is the way our minds can cut through the clutter and the noise around us to zero in on something without us specifically instructing it to do so. Every winter we reprogram ourselves to look out for ice when we are walking or driving. For a while, we need to concentrate, but, in time, being wary about ice becomes automatic. Being able to program yourself is really neat. It may not be easy, but it can be done. Okay, you’re probably wondering where all this is going. Just this, it seems apparent that a lot of us are unwittingly programmed to spot and remember the daily annoyances – the delays, the ‘idiot’ at work, the number of red lights, the annoying drivers, the coffee that isn’t piping hot, the stuff we have to re-do again. It is amazing how many things can go wrong in a day; and it is easy for us to count them all up to produce the story of our day. This automatic search program pretty well opens up to conclude that, in the long run, we are hard used by life and we are prone to be cranky much of the time, and we have a lot of those days! It is unlikely that this state of affairs is the result of a plan we’ve made at some point in our lives. It is hard to believe that many of us would have sat down and said to ourselves, “I’m going to count every little annoying thing; I plan to have a lot of those days.” It has just happened to work out that way. But is there anything we can do? Yes! We can reprogram our default system. We do it to avoid falling on winter ice, or skidding into the nearest ditch. To retrain ourselves each winter takes time, effort, and the odd bit of slipping and sliding, but we do it. After a few weeks, we are applying a different set of skills as we walk or drive. Why not retrain ourselves to modify the system of selecting the events, the things we notice and react to, the daily routine of ‘accentuating the negative’ in our lives? We could consciously reset our automatic alert systems to pick out positive things in our regular days. On the same days when things seem so wrong, you can get a different picture from a reset ‘default system’ programmed to look for and collect positive things – the driver who lets you change lanes, those who made room for you on the elevator, the pleasant cashier, the task that went well, friendly greetings from strangers and friends, smiles and helping hands, and all the machines and gadgets that operate as they are supposed to. It is not about filtering out reality – life can be tough. It is about modifying your alert system, about accentuating the posi-tive. It’s about navigating through the days, about not slipping, sliding and crashing. It is having a new default system or, perhaps, having a new hobby; a way of seeing things that is less likely to make us discontent and cranky. I’ve talked myself into it! I’ve got to modify and refine my default system. Jim Campbell is an Oakville-based writer and author. Please send your comments to homedigesteditor@sympatico.ca or via post to 115 George St., Unit 1524, Oakville ON L6J 0A2. |
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• When asking questions, be patient, as the average person needs
seven seconds to think about something, formulate an answer, and muster up enough courage to respond.
